Well, I was just going to call it happiness but since I'm listening to the Beatles...

I've been having the weirdist feeling and for some reason I just want to get it down on paper (okay typed but whatever) to see if I can somehow make sense of it.

I'm *gasp* happy. I didn't realize how unhappy I was w/ my life until everything turned around. No, thats not true- its not that I wasn't happy, just shit always seemed to be happening.

Now, everything is going so right that I'm almost scared. I now realize that I have never been really happy, at least that to my rememberance. Sure- my life is pretty darn good (not pretending that it isn't) but I've never really had all the pieces fall into place.

It isn't just Paul, of course he is great and its nice having someone to be there, but its soooo much more. I'm loving school (scary hun?) at least when I sit down and actually study. So, is chemistry going to be my lifes work? So far it sure looks that way. And its so odd being in a major that I enjoy, am good at, and will still give me employment after college. Nice hun?

Since this summer and I guess one of the most major conformations w/ my father we haven't really been talking- and you know what, its great! Finally, he is part of my past, and he realizes what a jerk he has been to me. I don't have to pretend to like him on the phone or when we vist anymore- just be civil to one another. Amazing how many different forms love takes on hun?

Between surfing (and actually getting good enough to catch and ride the waves) and horse back riding I'm staying busy. Actually, surfing has sorta taken a back seat sense the waves have been a bit more intense lately (and I can do other thing w/ Paul *wink wink nuge nuge know what I mean?*). Gigi finally made it down to SD this weekend, and boy was she a bitch to ride yesterday- I'm now in so much pain- but the good type. The type of pain you have when you know you accomplished something. The equestrain team is going well, hopefully will be showing halloween weekend. UCSD ROX!

I guess another point is that I LOVE the ppl I'm living w/. My boys are just so cool...I really can't say enough good stuff about them. Wonderfully fun, great to talk too and there for when I need a shoulder to cry on (thanx Ryan!).

Also, I'm now taking a cermaics class just for the hell of it. Since I've gone to college I haven't done anything really artizy and have felt that side of me slipping, so therefore... Its fun, playing w/ mud and all that jazz! I feel the art returning to my body (uhhhh, its alive!)

I've typed quite a lot, for me- well I just finished writing a paper so I'm already in the mind set (ya! Philosophy!).

So, now with all these wonderful things happening, my life taking on meaning and importance, everyone around me being wonderful what I really wonder is when is it all going to end? What will make it break? You know your way to pessimistic that when everything is just finally starting to come together you wonder what will fuck it up. Oh well, live each day one at a time.

Two midterms next Monday so this weekend will be a bitch, but oh well... going to the Santana concert (hopefully) tomorrow w/ the boy-o

Don't get me wrong, I've been working my ass off and have hardly had anytme to just chill, but damn working this hard has never felt this good!